when did it happen?

Tell me little one - when did you magically stop being my baby and start being my little boy?

This morning at church there was a little baby in front of us. I mean little - brand new. Probably a couple of days old. I found myself staring at her in amazement over how small and fragile she looked. Now if my memory serves me correctly, we took you to church when you were 5 days old, but already I can't remember you ever being that small.

But now, you are this beautiful little boy with the sparkling blue eyes and the intoxicating grin. You were putting on a show for the people behind us. You were smiling and attentive and they were all watching and talking about you. And when we got home, I was putting you into your bouncy seat at it struck me - like a ton of bricks. You didn't even look like a baby anymore. You looked like a full fledged little boy.

Then we got on the floor and here it is - caught on film. These baby days are all but over.


I so wanted you to stay my tiny baby forever, but it seems that I'm losing that battle. I treasure our time together. I thank God every day for wonderful you. I KNOW I haven't lived a good enough life to deserve you, but thank goodness that God doesn't give us what we deserve.

You are my angel. You are the light of my life. You are my treasure. And you will ALWAYS be my baby.

Love you forever and always no matter what.
Mommy

good or bad

So today was a good day...but then again, it wasn't. Today Cade sat up on his own for about 8 seconds. That's long time when you're not even 5 months old. Then I put him on his tummy and he played and got his legs going like he wanted to crawl and then he rolled over. I was proud of him and HE was proud of him and we were happy together - but there was someone missing. Daddy. And that sucks.

We love you and we miss you and we wish you could have a job where you were here more. We'll try to do it again this weekend and just pretend it was the first time. Everything is better when you're here. We hope you know that. And we know you would be if you could. Thanks for being such a great dad!

make mama proud

A couple weeks ago, the one and only Amber (she's my favorite today...ask me why later) took pictures of our whole family. I was so excited. I thought about it for weeks - what we would all wear, poses I wanted etc. That morning, however Cade was NOT the smiley, uber happy boy that he usually is early in the morning. The plan I had in my head began to unravel. An hour into the shoot he came completely unglued and and I just knew there would be no good pictures. I found myself wanting to scream - NO, NO, NO - I SWEAR, HE'S SO GOOD AND HAPPY, THIS JUST ISN'T RIGHT.

That night, I decided to take a video of the happy boy that had returned just to prove he does exist.

But this past Saturday, my angel made me so proud. Our friend Sarah had her baby shower and I really didn't know anybody there except Sarah and Amy. I took Cade with me and hoped he would be good, but knew it was risky because he wouldn't get his big morning nap. To my surprise, he was FABULOUS!!! He was happy and smiley and flirty and just perfect. Everyone was taken with how good and easy going he is. And THAT'S the baby I know that I have that I wish everyone could see. I don't know how I got the BEST BABY EVER - Just lucky I guess.


Oh - and as you can see, either it wasn't as bad as I thought, or Amber is really the best photog ever!! A little of both I think.