Extraordinary

My precious son,

I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I mean - of course I think about you almost constantly, but I've been thinking on broader scale maybe. Now I'm sure that my feelings for you are not all that different from every other mother out there, but they are are different for me. Different because I have loved before, but never like this. I have been thankful before, but never like this. I have been in awe before - but never like this...never until you.

You are amazing to me. How happy you are. How genuine your smile. How your eyes shine. The way you squeal with delight at the mere sight of Truman. The way you cry when you see me after I've been away from you. (YaYa says it's not an "I'm unhappy to see you" cry, but more of an "I missed you so much" cry).

I love the fact that you get tired and lay your head on my shoulder. I love that for the most part you trust me when I say it's nap time and go right to sleep. I love that you look so flippin' cute in your little hats. I love that you love to be in your sling and that everyone we see comments on it when I "wear" you out. I love every hair on your head and every breath that you take. Sometimes I feel like you are the reason my heart keeps beating.

You are learning new "tricks" every day. You'll be crawling in a few days. You're trying to talk. We're working on our sign language. And then there's this...

So the story behind this video goes like this...you have this habit of leaning forward when you eat and it makes it hard for me to see your mouth - and therefore get the food INTO it. So I started telling you "back" and trying to get you to set back against the seat so I could get a better angle at your mouth. After a couple of days, you obviously caught on because this is what happens when I say "back" now. I'm going to have to put a pillow back there so you don't get dain bramage.

I love you punks - Mommy

Back to Blogging

OK, so the holidays are OVER!!! And while I enjoyed Cade's first holiday season immensely, I have to admit the huge sense of relief that it's finally come to a close. Back to slower days, no place to go, nothing to buy and not nearly as much to clean! With all that said, I have a lot of pictures to update and blogging to do.

We got to see almost all of our family this holiday - a special treat. There were a ridiculous number of presents, an even more ridiculous amount of food and terrific memories of Cade's first Christmas.

W e also went to see ICE at the Gaylord Texan. It's an exhibit of ices sculptures kept at 14 degrees. They give you a parka to wear because it's so cold. You can see for yourself the results!

Trick or Treat?

I think he's a TREAT!!!

when did it happen?

Tell me little one - when did you magically stop being my baby and start being my little boy?

This morning at church there was a little baby in front of us. I mean little - brand new. Probably a couple of days old. I found myself staring at her in amazement over how small and fragile she looked. Now if my memory serves me correctly, we took you to church when you were 5 days old, but already I can't remember you ever being that small.

But now, you are this beautiful little boy with the sparkling blue eyes and the intoxicating grin. You were putting on a show for the people behind us. You were smiling and attentive and they were all watching and talking about you. And when we got home, I was putting you into your bouncy seat at it struck me - like a ton of bricks. You didn't even look like a baby anymore. You looked like a full fledged little boy.

Then we got on the floor and here it is - caught on film. These baby days are all but over.


I so wanted you to stay my tiny baby forever, but it seems that I'm losing that battle. I treasure our time together. I thank God every day for wonderful you. I KNOW I haven't lived a good enough life to deserve you, but thank goodness that God doesn't give us what we deserve.

You are my angel. You are the light of my life. You are my treasure. And you will ALWAYS be my baby.

Love you forever and always no matter what.
Mommy

good or bad

So today was a good day...but then again, it wasn't. Today Cade sat up on his own for about 8 seconds. That's long time when you're not even 5 months old. Then I put him on his tummy and he played and got his legs going like he wanted to crawl and then he rolled over. I was proud of him and HE was proud of him and we were happy together - but there was someone missing. Daddy. And that sucks.

We love you and we miss you and we wish you could have a job where you were here more. We'll try to do it again this weekend and just pretend it was the first time. Everything is better when you're here. We hope you know that. And we know you would be if you could. Thanks for being such a great dad!

make mama proud

A couple weeks ago, the one and only Amber (she's my favorite today...ask me why later) took pictures of our whole family. I was so excited. I thought about it for weeks - what we would all wear, poses I wanted etc. That morning, however Cade was NOT the smiley, uber happy boy that he usually is early in the morning. The plan I had in my head began to unravel. An hour into the shoot he came completely unglued and and I just knew there would be no good pictures. I found myself wanting to scream - NO, NO, NO - I SWEAR, HE'S SO GOOD AND HAPPY, THIS JUST ISN'T RIGHT.

That night, I decided to take a video of the happy boy that had returned just to prove he does exist.

But this past Saturday, my angel made me so proud. Our friend Sarah had her baby shower and I really didn't know anybody there except Sarah and Amy. I took Cade with me and hoped he would be good, but knew it was risky because he wouldn't get his big morning nap. To my surprise, he was FABULOUS!!! He was happy and smiley and flirty and just perfect. Everyone was taken with how good and easy going he is. And THAT'S the baby I know that I have that I wish everyone could see. I don't know how I got the BEST BABY EVER - Just lucky I guess.


Oh - and as you can see, either it wasn't as bad as I thought, or Amber is really the best photog ever!! A little of both I think.

My Best Girl

If you've been reading this blog, you've probably noticed that everything I write is about my son. Not this one. This one is about my girl. My best girl to be exact. Except she's not anymore - now she's someone elses.

It breaks my heart, but Mia now belongs to someone else. For reasons we just won't get into, I've decided it was time to let her go. Let someone else love her. Someone who has more time. There will never be another Mia. Never. I love this horse in a way I'm not sure it's normal to love an animal. Because of what she was when I got her. Because of what she has become. Because of what I taught her and what she taught me. Because of how she took care of me (and Cade) the whole time I was pregnant. You think I'm crazy - but she knew. She knew she had to be good and gentle and safe and dependable. And she was. I NEVER doubted her.

This is the best thing for her and me right now - no matter how much it hurts. She will always me "Mine" - that's why I named her "Mia". Here's to my BEAUTIFUL girl...